Ho-Ho-Holiday....Celebrate

Afternoon blog readers...It's beginning to look a lot like christmas! Oh the hoopla of 2009 is soon to be over. I'm bittersweet about it as my son just turned 1, but on to bigger and better things right?!

What an anum. I have a lot to reflect on! I've lost a turkey in weight, which when you see a turkey you're slightly shocked. Or I could have said I lost the same weight as my son....No wonder why my back feels better.

What I've given up to do this is selfishness. I think I'm on a voyage to reality. I'm no where near done, but I have hope that I will finish. I've done dieting in the past and most of the times I end up fat and happy with my chocolate bar. I'm really hoping that this not be the last for me. So far it's working and I'm sticking with it regardless of my desire for being able to join in on Hot French Toast or Pizza Parties. I'm experimenting with new ways to create a feeling of self worth away from what I've always been known for; my ability to cook.

Taking time out for me is hard. I don't want to do it, I force myself too and then inevitably feel much better about myself which helps with staying close to my diet plan. To those of you that are curious for me to go into more detail, I'm on a diet created by Sam Walters Md, NMD at the Wellspring Clinic in Phoenix, AZ. I get 520 calories a day (give or take) along with supplements and vitamins. My day is spent weighing my food intake as such:

3.5 oz of Fruit in the a.m.
coffee, tea, and water, as much as I want to help flush out toxins

10a.m. I take a protien pill

3.5 oz of lean protien ( fish, pork, lean beef, chicken)
3.5 oz of vegetables (non starchy only!- kale, broccolli, cauliflower)etc
again, more water, tea or coffee of my choosing

6 hours after eating my first oz of fruit I may have a second or stave till later in night and have as dessert

2 pm again protien pill

supper 3.5 meat & 3.5oz veggie.

1 mile of walking and then restart the next day....that's it.

Many of you may moan about starvation, etc. Part of the reason why this diet is working is that Ketosis is starting in my system. I'm able to charge up my metabolic rate. This doesn't mean I'm pumped with energy, I am exhausted. But you come to a place where you don't know what more will/won't work for yourself. At some point I'll be able to get off the mad circle of strict dieting, but that's down the road and I focus on today. When that day happens it happens. I focus on completing the opportunity to reverse years of poor dieting and eating habits. The worst mentally for me is the mind. I fight it so much. "Wouldn't you love a donut this morning" says I to myself "nobody will know" I have to remind myself that everyone knows, my ass is huge! It may not be tomorrow that they see the extra pound but the next time they see me they always make a mental note. "gee, she's put it on, hasn't she?" Medical reasons have hindered me in the past, but I'm not going to rest on mental crutches. I'm going to do what I can with the time I have left. I'm celebrating the opportunity to lose my fat self and find the wallflower again.

One of the best things that I've done is chosen to buy free trade items in lieu of cheaper options. Why free trade? Well I'm chosing to starve to lose weight, but that doesn't mean that others have to starve that don't have the option of choice. I choose free trade because I want to help others eat while I fast.

So while everyone else is getting ready to eat thier roast beast, I'll be standing back enjoying the smiles at the feast. It's all about family, and none of the grinch so this year lets try to fulfill our best christmas Wish!

From the corner of Crass and stupidity happy Holidays...